Real programmers use chmod +x /dev/random and cross their fingers
         -- Comment found in a vi/emacs flamewar on slashdot.
%
Personally I would consider it a bug if a file can be retrieved after 
'rm'. After all, do you want an 'untoast' button on your toaster?
         -- Frank van Maarseveen
%
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
%
checking for the validity of the Maxwell laws on this machine... ok
checking if e=mc^2... ok
checking if we can safely swap on /dev/fd0... yes
         -- ./configure from kvirc 2.0
%
Q: How many mutt users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But you have to set the option auto-change-illumination in your
   .muttrc file.
%
"Microsoft is a cross between the Borg and the Ferengi.  Unfortunately,
they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming."
         -- Simon Slavin in asr
%
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
%
Black holes were created when God divided by 0.
%
A red sign on the door of a physics professor: 'If this sign is blue, 
you're going too fast.'
%
The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
%
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
%
My operat~1 system unders~1 long filena~1 , does yours?
%
For every problem, there exists a simple and elegant solution that is 
absolutely wrong. 
         -- J. Wagoner 
%
There has been an alarming increase lately in the number of things about
which I know absolutely nothing. 
         -- Ashleigh Brilliant 
%
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. 
         -- Soren Kierkegaard. 
%
Keep an open mind, just not so open that your brains fall out.
         --Al Scott
%
The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it." 
         -- Alan Saporta 
%
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
%
"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked." 
         -- Jeff Pesis
%
[dpkg] We are the apt. Resistance is futile. You will be packaged.
%
Windows 2000 is more secure than Linux... Since the machine is offline
half of the time because of crashes, it cannot be accessed globally, 
therefore producing higher security.
%
"vi has two modes the one in which it beeps and the one in which it 
doesn't." 
         -- Alan Cox
%
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not 
tried it.
         -- Donald E. Knuth, 1977
%
Computer Science is no more about Computers than astronomy is about 
telescopes.
         -- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra
%
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
%
How do we persuade new users that spreading fonts across the page like 
peanut butter across hot toast is not necessarily the route to typographic
excellence?
         -- Peter Flynn
%
And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports
on it, you know they are just evil lies.
         -- Linus Torvalds
%
"Any setuid root program that does an exec() somewhere is just a less
user friendly version of su."   
         -- Olaf Kirch on bugtraq 2000-08-07
%
To err is human; effective mayhem requires the root password!
%
"...anytime you install something new on the Windows platform, you risk
spending the next five or six hours trying to figure out what happened"
         -- Robert Roblin, Adobe
%
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to
choose from.
         -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
%
"The number of Unix installations has grown to 10, with more expected."
         -- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June, 1972
%
"If you really want to toggle [Internet Explorer] into secure mode, you
just need to click the little 'X" in the top right corner of the window."
         -- User dsb3 on www.slashdot.org
%
A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1, ...
%
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
%
The social dynamics of the net are a direct consequence of the fact 
that nobody has yet developed a Remote Strangulation Protocol.   
         -- Larry Wall
%
"A system without Perl is like a hockey game without a fight."
         -- Mitch Wright
%
Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who
can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
%
"Perl - the only language that looks the same before and after RSA 
encryption."
         -- Keith Bostic
%
"Of course it does not work, but look how fast it is!"
         -- Unknown author. Posted by Felix von Leitner.
%
"Unfortunately, the current generation of mail programs do not have
 checkers to see if the sender knows what he is talking about"
         -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
%
my other signature is more intellectual
%
"UNIX was not designed to stop people from doing stupid things, because
 that would also stop them from doing clever things."
         -- Doug Gwyn
%
Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream
in another forty-four.
         -- Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
%
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, 
it should be hard to read.
%
Some people, when confronted with a problem, think 'I know, I'll use 
regular expressions.' Now they have two problems.
         -- Jamie Zawinski, alt.religion.emacs (08/12/1997)
%
All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...
         -- Larry Wall
%
If you come from outside of Finland, you live in wrong country.
         -- motd of irc.funet.fi
%
No question is too silly to ask, but, of course, some are too silly
to answer.   
         -- Perl book
%
My growing impression of C++, object-oriented programming, etc., is 
that it attempts to allow programmers to conveniently reuse their 
mistakes.
         -- Stephen Uitti
%
"I hope to die before I *have* to use Microsoft Word."
         -- Donald E. Knuth, 02-Oct-2001 in Tuebingen.
%
"It is not yet possible to change operating system by writing to 
 /proc/sys/kernel/ostype."
         -- sysctl(2) man page
%
"They are marked 'dangerous' because they eat filesystems for 
 breakfast."
         -- Linus Torvalds about 2.3.7 pre-patches, LKM
%
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left
of your unit."
         -- The U.S. Army's PS magazine, August 1993
%
"It is not yet possible to change operating system by writing to 
 /proc/sys/kernel/ostype."
         -- sysctl(2) man page
%
"I hear that if you play the NT 4.0 CD backwards, you get a satanic message".
"That's nothing. If you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!"
         -- unknown
%
"Politics is for the moment, equations are forever"
         -- Albert Einstein
%
It is easier to port a shell than a shell script.
         -- Larry Wall about Perl
%
"Unix was the first OS where you could carry the media and system
documentation around in a briefcase. This was fixed in BSD4.2."
%
A one-character regular expression is a regular expression that
matches whatever the one-character regular expression matches.
         -- Sun regexp manpage
%
No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message, however, a 
significant number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
%
Wow, I'm being shot at from both sides.  That means I *must* be right.  :-)
         -- Larry Wall in <199710211959.MAA18990@wall.org>
%
No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority, you can't 
increase the speed of light.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 2
%
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not 
necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they are going to 
land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 3
%
It is always possible to aglutenate multiple separate problems into a 
single complex interdependent solution. In most cases this is a bad idea.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 5
%
It is easier to move a problem around (for example, by moving the problem 
to a different part of the overall network architecture) than it is to 
solve it.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 6
%
Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick any two (you can't have all three).
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 7a
%
It is more complicated than you think.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 8
%
For all resources, whatever it is, you need more.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 9
%
In protocol design, perfection has been reached not when there is nothing
left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
         -- RFC 1925, Truth number 12
%
Set the I_WANT_A_BROKEN_PS environment variable to force BSD syntax ...
         -- manpage of procps
%
Just because an idea originated at "redhat" does not mean it is evil.
         -- Sean 'Shaleh' Perry
%
After turning off the power to replace a part, turning the power on 
again is relatively simple.
         -- SPARCstation 10 Service Manual
%